Source Jockey

Surprisingly enough, people lie about obvious things.  In fact, as you’ll notice, that’s the cornerstone of bad online dating stories.  Usually it’s something small; she’ll say “I weight 120 lbs” when she really weighs 130lbs.  Not a big deal.  ”I’m 5’6″”, she says, but she’s really 5’4″.  Not the end of the world.

Elisa, however decided to go full bore on the lying front.  After chatting online for a couple weeks, I determined that she was very nice, had a pleasant personality, and would be fun company.  She sent around ten photos of herself, and she fit her description to a tee: 5’8″, 130lbs, a very proportional body, half white-half asian of some kind (I really don’t remember at this point).  She had gorgeous green eyes, and dark brown hair.  I was excited to meet someone who fit my preferences both physically AND mentally.

The plan was to meet at the Sharper Image at a mall in the South Bay.  Sure, it was a 30 minute drive for a first meet, but hey, you can’t drive too far for potential love, right?  So I got to the Sharper Image a little early, and was browsing through their products.  (At the time, both Brookstone and Sharper Image actually sold cool stuff, not crappy plastic shit.)  While I was looking, one of their employees tapped me on the shoulder.  I turned to explain I was just looking, the woman said, “Adam?”

I looked at her, and said, “Hi, um, do I know you?”  She looked hurt.  ”It’s me, Elisa!”  I was shocked…  If this was Elisa…then who was the girl in the photos?  The woman in front of me could not have been taller than five feet, and couldn’t have weighed less than 200 lbs.  My first thought was, if she fell down, she’d roll until she hit something that could stop her.

“You’re not what you described,” I started.  She acted like I slapped her across the face.

“Well, everyone lies about their appearance!” she hissed back, “it’s not my fault you were so dumb that you believed me.”

I started walking out of the store, and out of the mall.  She began to follow me.  ”What, you don’t want to hang out?” she asked, trying to keep up.

I turned, and walked backwards for a moment, seeing her struggle to match my fast pace, “No, I don’t.  Relationships start with trust.  I can’t trust you if you lied about EVERYTHING,now, can I?”

She was falling behind, panting from the 30 feet of exertion, “You wouldn’t have agreed to meet up with me if I had told the truth!”

Before I spun back around, I said, “We’ll never know, will we?”  I walked back to my car, leaving her far behind to catch her breath.

I don’t even know what the moral of this story is.  Honestly, most people don’t lie as badly as Elisa did–and really, I don’t think most people have the guts to actually meet up after doing so.  Who knows.

This entry was posted on Thursday, October 29th, 2009 at 10:07 am and is filed under Online Dating. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.