Archive for July, 2009

No More Internet Explorer 6

Saturday, July 25th, 2009

nomoreie6If I had my way, Internet Explorer (IE) wouldn’t exist at all in ANY version. ¬†I’d just stick with Safari and Firefox. ¬†But alas, Microsoft bundles IE with all their operating systems, and of course it’s what most people use. ¬†Well, if you’re one of those IE 6 users, please do the world a favor: ¬†upgrade. ¬†Do it yourself, get your IT Department or 6 year old to help you do it. ¬†The fact of the matter is that IE is blatantly not standards compliant. ¬†It often takes hours to get a web site to look correct in IE6 while other browsers show them just fine. ¬†Designers and coders must trick IE6 into doing things just to get a layout to work properly.

Enough is enough.

IE 8 is now the most recent version of IE, and while it’s not perfect, it’s a million times better than IE6. ¬†I mean, come on, it’s a FREE upgrade–just do it already!!! ¬†I’m at the point now where I will actually charge my clients more for a site in which they require IE 6 compatibility. ¬†It’s ridiculous. ¬†The browser has been out since 2002 or something ridiculous like that–it’s time to get over it!!

4×4 My Ass!

Friday, July 24th, 2009

Yeah, this should probably be a Tweet, but I’m talkin’ about it anyway. ¬†On my way into work, I was stuck behind a guy driving a little Mazda Tribute (looks like a Ford Escape) with a giant two-foot-wide “4×4” sticker on it. ¬†I did not take this picture, but I will use the one below to explain why this guy is full of shit:


I’ve circled the area where this car’s rear differential is. ¬†You know, the differential that powers the rear wheels. ¬†Oh, there’s no differential there, you say? ¬†Yes. ¬†That’s right. ¬†There’s no differential. ¬†Meaning no power to the rear wheels. ¬†Meaning this thing is actually not 4×4.

So. Yeah.  People who put stupid stickers on their cars amuse me greatly.  Dumbasses.

Massive Email Pruning

Friday, July 24th, 2009

So you might be curious as to what “pruning” is… ¬†For those of you in horticulture, you know pruning is when you trim the deadish stuff from plants/trees/whatever to help it grow more. ¬†Well, email is similar. ¬†I went through my email and deleted/archived all the email I don’t actively need so I have a more manageable inbox.

Yeah, it may not sound like much, but going from 700+ emails to 18 isn’t TOO bad–and it definitely relaxed me. ¬†Sure, I may have moved something I might need, but if it’s THAT important, the person/people will email me back. ¬†Hopefully, it wasn’t you!

WARNING: This email is a virus!

Monday, July 20th, 2009

My mother just forwarded an email telling me not to open emails with the word “Hallmark” in the title. ¬†Apparently, the email will come to my house, pick the lock, steal my computer and fill it with nasty pictures of donkeys having sex with camels doggie-style. ¬†Or something like that.

I wrote an email to her (and all the people she copied) responding to her email, and explaining that, if you’ve got all your security updates, and you don’t open strange attachments, you’ll be ok. ¬†She actually uses Yahoo mail, and therefore doesn’t need to worry so much about security updates as much as she needs to worry about opening weird attachments; even then, she doesn’t have administrative access to her computer anyway. ¬†So she can’t REALLY do that much harm to her computer as it is. ¬†She keeps asking me to give her admin privileges so she can upload photos to Costco or something… ¬†Each time I consider it, I remember that she clicks “yes” to everything.

If you’ve gotten this far, and you consider yourself computer illiterate, here’s the ONLY rule you need to know about email-based viruses: ¬†If you get an email from ANYONE, whether you know them or not, don’t open any attachments unless you have been expecting them.


  1. Uncle Jim sends you a Powerpoint of slides from his vacation–but Uncle Jim’s been dead since 1992: ¬†DON’T OPEN IT.
  2. Your buddy sends you a program to get a free Coca-Cola drink holder: DON’T OPEN IT.
  3. Your favorite bank sends you their special, all-new banking software: DON’T OPEN IT.
  4. You get a greeting card from someone for no good reason: DON’T OPEN IT.
  5. You see an attachment that looks interesting: DON’T OPEN IT.

This is all pretty self-explanatory, right?

I love Krazy Glue

Monday, July 20th, 2009

From sixth grade until 8th grade, I wore glasses every day.  Then, just before my freshman year in High School, I switched to contacts.  I cannot remember wearing glasses more than a few days while I was in high school, and it stayed that way though college (mostly).  Afterwards, though, I got lazy, and started wearing my glasses a lot more.  It saved me a minute and a half every morning, and that was reason enough.

A screw in my glasses that holds the lens in fell out. ¬†And got lost. ¬†So for the last 3 weeks, I’ve been wearing contacts every day. ¬†It doesn’t bother me that much, but at night, after I took out my contacts, I was using a small orange clamp to hold the glasses together.

No more.

I found an old bottle of Krazy Glue and glued the screw hole shut. ¬†Excellent. ¬†Now I can be lazy and wear ’em again! ¬†Thank you, Krazy Glue!

*no fingers or other body parts were glued together during this project*

Dating sucks!

Monday, July 20th, 2009

I used to like dating.  You know, back in college, where really all I had to do was study, eat, sleep, and play Goldeneye on the Nintendo.  Yeah, those were the days!  I had a part time job that paid well, so I could go on all the dates I wanted to, all while saving money.

Well, responsibility kicked in. ¬†Dating wasn’t as easy. ¬†There isn’t as much time, and the environment has changed.

When I go on a date now, it’s taking precious time away from what’s left of my free time. ¬†Work takes up hours of my work day, and after that little post-21 metabolism slowdown, the gym has become more important than ever. ¬†So when a date isn’t worth it, it’s not just a little money wasted on an undeserving girl, it’s TIME that gets flushed away, all for the hope of finding someone awesome.

It’s a high price to pay.

Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics

Thursday, July 9th, 2009

Mark Twain once said, “There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.” ¬†Despite this obvious observation, our society focuses so mightily on statistics, you’d think we revere them as if they’re stone cold facts. ¬†Commercials that tell you “Three out of four dentists recommend Crest.” ¬†“Lysol kills 99.9% of germs.” ¬†Studies show “2-5 cups of coffee a day keeps Alzheimers away.” ¬†“Drinking 1-2 glasses of red wine prevent xyz”

I’m sorry. ¬†This is all bullshit. ¬†The “dentists”, or whatever professional they choose, is never mentioned. ¬†There’s no control. ¬†It could have been, “Three out of four dentists [who we found while speaking at a Proctor and Gamble board meeting] recommend Crest.” ¬†The Lysol guys: ¬†“Lysol kills 99.9% of the germs [that we placed on a smooth, non-porous surface, and chose carefully to make sure it wasn’t one of those resistant guys].” ¬†And as for the studies: ¬†Correlation without Causation!!! ¬†Seriously! ¬†What’s the control group? ¬†More importantly, what other aspects of these participants lives have you ruled out? ¬†People aren’t all built the same.

It’s one thing to go off and explain that a certain percentage of participants of SOMETHING had something happen to them while doing something. ¬†That’s pretty solid, like “40% of study participants yelled ‘fuck!’ when they hit their thumb with a hammer. ¬†The other 60% were dead to begin with.” ¬†But it’s another thing to go and say, “Drinking 2-5 cups of coffee a day reduces the risk of getting Alzheimer’s Disease by 26%.” ¬†Are you serious? ¬†So the control group must have been a large group of people who don’t drink coffee. ¬†What did they drink instead? ¬†And what did the participants who drink coffee do after they drank their coffee? ¬†More importantly, how do you determine the risk factor in the first place?

There are more holes in these studies than a bad porno flick.

Smoking in Your Car

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009

I’m not a smoker. ¬†I don’t think it’s something I could ever do. ¬†Something I’ve noticed, though, is that even smokers don’t like the smoke they emit. ¬†Sure, they like to inhale, but exhaling, well, you don’t want to breathe THAT shit in, right?

I know this because I see smokers in their cars all the time–take a drag…then they blow it out the window. ¬†Or they let the cigarette hang out the window (what, no ashtray?), and that’s aggravating. ¬†You may ask why I care–well, when you’ve got someone smoking, blowing the smoke out their window, it goes into MY window. ¬†Or even if I have the AC on, I can smell it. ¬†The worst, actually, was some dickhead threw his cigarette butt out the window of his car, and it got stuck in my grill. ¬†Yeah. ¬†NOT pleasant. ¬†I actually pulled over and removed it after I figured out that’s what the issue was.

Anyway–if you’re a smoker, and you like to smoke in your car, do us non-smokers a few small favors:

  1. Smoke with your windows up. ¬†Keep your own smoke. ¬†It’s yours.
  2. Dispose of your cigarettes properly, don’t throw them out your car window. ¬†It’s illegal anyway (you know, littering?)
  3. Don’t hang your hand out the window with a cigarette–it smokes itself in the wind and we smell it. ¬†Yech.
Powered by Great Matter