Archive for November, 2009

Online Dating: May I See Your ID, Please?

Monday, November 2nd, 2009

Interestingly enough, I haven’t had that many online dates lie to me about their age–and if they have, they’ve appeared to be awfully close to their actual age. ¬†In the few times when someone has been older than the date listed on their profile, it’s usually no more than a year or two.

That said…what scares me the most is the prospect of meeting someone who has lied in the opposite direction… ¬†This hasn’t happened in a long while, as my dating preference is really older than 24. ¬†But when I was 19, I didn’t mind dating someone 18.

So I was 19 or 20 when I met “Jane” on one of the sites that doesn’t allow postings for people less than 18, which, at the time, wasn’t common. ¬†Some sites would allow people as young as 16, which was probably for those states where the age of consent is lower. ¬†We had been chatting for about a week, and I saw around 15 or 20 photos of her. ¬†Cute, a killer smile, and a rather stunning figure led me to believe she wasn’t faking it. ¬†She was a freshman at a local Orange County community college, and seemed to be pretty bright. ¬†So I asked if she wanted to hang out one night. ¬†She agreed, and I met up with her at a Starbucks near her house.

When I met her, something seemed a bit off–nothing too terribly alarming; though I was a little surprised that she had some slight B.O., and her style sense was a little bohemian. ¬†She was wearing overalls and a ribbed long-sleeve shirt, which only served to amplify her appearance of a rather large chest. ¬†There were no seats in the Starbucks, so she asked if we could hang at USC. ¬†I agreed. ¬†On the drive up, I noticed the B.O. a bit more, but the conversation was a little odd, too; she didn’t talk much about school, and was focused more on entertainment gossip.

We arrived at USC, and we decided to hang out in my dorm room. ¬†I’ll admit that I was a bit excited, she was definitely very good looking, and what 19/20 year old guy doesn’t want that?? ¬†We talked about what television shows she watched, what music she listened to, what movies she liked…and she suddenly says, “So, do you like my outfit?” ¬†I was a bit stunned by the sudden change in topic, but told her that she looked very nice.

“Very nice?” she asked, “Just nice?” ¬†I know a complement fisher when I see one.

“Actually,” I said, “you look great.” ¬†She seemed excited.

“I’m wearing a new top,” she started, “and a new bra. ¬†It’s not padded, and to see?” ¬†Through her shirt, she pulled the bottom part of her bra and squeezed it to show it wasn’t padded. ¬†I was being pulled in two directions–I wanted so badly to reach out and feel what looked like legitimately huge breasts, but the alarm bells were piercing my thoughts. ¬†I closed my eyes a moment, and took a breath.

“Um, Jane, look, I would love to do more–but something doesn’t feel right. ¬†What did you say you’re studying in school?” I asked.

“Pre-calc, biology, AP History…” she started, and stopped short with a small gasp, before she said, “I mean…uh…”

For some reason, I wasn’t surprised, “So not in college, then? How old are you really?”

She stammered, “No, no, I meant World History…I’m 18.”

“May I see your ID, please?” I requested.

“No, I don’t have one,” she said, “I don’t need one because I don’t drive.”

I shook my head. “Sorry, everyone has an ID if they’re over 18–even if it’s not a drivers’ license. ¬†I’m taking you home.”

So during the drive, she was begging and pleading to continue the date–all the while insisting she was 18. ¬†Later on, after I got back to my dorm, she and I chatted a bit longer. ¬†She admitted to being 16, and that she was sorry, and that she wanted to hang out again. ¬†I responded by saying no, and blocking her.

This was a really close call; had I not been more cautious…well, let’s just say I’m glad I was. ¬†Since then, two other people lied about their age, but both came clean from the moment we met, and fortunately, disaster was averted.

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